- My Brain MRI – Multiple Sclerosis
Firstly, I’d like to point out that drugs can and do help some people. But, for the most part, I believe that it does a lot more harm than good. Before I start, understand that I will be candidly chronicling the past 7 years of my life.
It is an industry built on bullshit. Funded by bullshit, and accepted as truth. Well, it isn’t “truth”, and if you’re going to be a sheep packed in with the rest of the heard, good luck to ya.
This evening, I went to renew a prescription I’ve been (more or less) addicted to for about 6 years. I do not have insurance because I am a freelance writer, and although I know ALLLLL about Quebec’s “insurance”, I’d rather not, thank you (an entire other article). My situation isn’t stable, but that isn’t the point. I cannot afford to purchase an entire month’s worth of this “necessary medication” in one shot. I am single. I make money when and where I can through various writing gigs and occasional family contributions. I’m basically fucking poor. So, asking me to fork out $75-150 on meds in one shot, because the pharmaceutical company makes it “cheaper” for ME (as if – what a joke) is not feasible, let alone doable.
Let me start from the beginning – as in, when I first started “needing” shit from a pharmacy in the first place. I never needed a damn thing until I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Then, of course, being naive and scared, I agreed to a clinical trial and allowed my neurologists to start me on a drug called Avonex. It was like living HELL for 5 days. I’d feel o-k for one day, then I’d have to receieve another syringe full of poison which made me feel like shit for another week. The cycle continued for months. I hated it. The mere memory of that entire ordeal sends a shiver up and down my spine so cold and creepy that I would rather plunge myself off the Jacques Cartier bridge.
Avonex is a treatment for MS which is similar to chemotherapy. CHEMO. Does anyone see something fucked up about that? Well, I did, and I stopped. But! It didn’t stop. I started getting phone calls from other pharma companies offering me THEIR drugs. I refused. I dealt with the bit of discomfort and painful relapse … because I would NOT live week by week on a fucking drug that made me want to puke, shit, sweat, sleep, and basically die ..all at once. I said, fuck off pharma, you’re not getting this one. This one is too strong, too crazy and stubborn for your mind-fucks. And, so far, its been going pretty well.
Here is the odd part: these pharma companies WANT ME. They call me like a damn telemarketer would. They ask me personal questions. They offer me shit. I deny it. I don’t want it, or anything they have to offer.
The shitty part, is that they already hooked me on Effexor and clonazepam. I successfully quit Effexor – cold muthafucking turkey, by MYSELF – in a week. Although I still experience symptoms of withdrawal and struggle with depression, I am going to make it without their help. I don’t need it, and neither does ANY other MS sufferer (my contact info is below – any time you need a helping hand, I will be there).
The clonazepam has been a problem for me, I wont deny it, simply because I never asked for it in the first place. I have 3 (three) neurologists. The first one prescribed it because I wouldn’t go into an MRI (claustraphobia), the second because I was having a hard time dealing with a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis, and the third – was a “neuro-psychiatrist”. The neuro-psychiatrist was my favourite. I love the clip-board doctors who got through med school with a fucking cheat sheet and their dad’s already-established status. How lovely. Anyway, I saw through this tool like a piece of rice paper, so suffice it to say it didn’t go well. I ditched our other appoitments. I hope he was pissed about it, apparently this geek takes a year to get into. Actually he was cute, but still a clip-board nincompoop. No intuition.
I continued to blow off “important” appointments, miss pysiotherapy (for what, I ain’t crippled or in some stage of denial, I have MS and feel fucking great! What is the problem?). This eventually led to the breakdown, and eventual breakUP of my long-term, 4-year relationship. I guess he saw my rebellion as me not “taking care of myself”, whereas I, didn’t give a rat’s ass what he thought. I guess I deserved it. Anyway. The past is the past.
Fast forward. I’m 30 years old, and have had one major relapse. And oh, was it a motherfucking big one. But, I survived and am alive to tell the tale. Consider this: I lived drug-free, without the aid of doctors or needles for MANY years. I had a relapse, spent 3 weeks practically disabled, then came out of it ok. The basic procedure is 4-5 days of Solumedrol (steroid) treatments, rest, and patience. That’s what I did, and it turned out quite successfully.
SO, although the pharma companies DO play a role in providing treatment, they play an even larger role in the creation, cultivation, and progression of disease in general. How and why do I know this? I am a victim of this system, and if you are going to trust anyone with what you PUT INTO YOUR BODY (some of which CANNOT be removed), trust someone who has been there and knows what the fuck they are talking about. Doesn’t that make sense?
I am including some MRI photos taken 2 years ago of my brain. The legions are still quite prominent, and apparently there are several new ones. All I can say – to anyone with a serious illness – is to distrust ANYTHING some bonehead doctor has to say, because most of them don’t really understand you.
Different Perspective - MRI - MS